Disaster averted and back on track - for about an hour

It was Saturday yesterday: weight day.

Even with the disaster that was last Tuesday - following on from a less than calorifically parsimonious weekend - I was quietly confident.

I'd had a crafty shot on the scales on Friday morning and things were looking good. So, when 7am on Saturday came around and I hopped on: 11 st 11 lb 0 oz. A 2 lb drop since last Saturday.

Now, I'm not suggesting that I somehow managed to lose two pounds in a week given the numbers I've posted in my food diaries; the numbers don't really add up.

What I will say though, is that possibly this just is a plus point for the strategy of rounding up and over-estimating those calories that I write down. That, and underestimating the exercise. Not that I'm secretly off going to the gym and hitting the rowing machine for an hour a day.

What I write is what I do.

What I don't do these days though is net those off my daily calorie total, nor do I include all the incidental little walks and bits and pieces.

Clearly, all those rounding errors make a difference...

Next though, was to come a day of going out for lunch for my mum's birthday, followed by a child-free evening of probably cake and wine-based indulgence in front of a film.

And an indulgence it turned out to be...

Day 12 - 5550 calories

Breakfast
1x thick slice bread and butter (200 kcal.)
2x slices buttered toast (250 kcal.)
3x eggs, scrambled (300 kcal.)
Smoked salmon (200 kcal.)

Lunch

Steak pie, chips and veg (1200 kcal.)

3x pints bitter (700 kcal.)

Dinner

2x sea bass fillets, potatoes and veg (400 kcal.)

2x beers (400 kcal.)

Bottle wine (700 kcal)

2x bread and butter puddings with double cream (1200 kcal.)

Exercise

25m walking

Day 13 - 2900 calories

Breakfast

4x cups tea (100 kcal.)

Slice buttered toast (150 kcal.)

Lunch

Smoked salmon (200 kcal.)

Cream cheese (400 kcal.)

Toast (200 kcal.)

Snack

Almond croissant (350 kcal.)

2 slices toast with chocolate spread (400 kcal.)

Dinner

Chicken breast (250 kcal.)

Potatoes (150 kcal.)

Slice of bread and butter (150 kcal.)
Bowl of ice cream (350 kcal.)
Beer (200 kcal.)

Exercise
Not much, really. A couple of 10 minutes strolls to the shops.
Oh, and back to the weights after 4 rest days...
3x sets bicep curls

Summary
A mixed bag I suppose this weekend. The good news is I lost a couple of pounds this week, the bad is that I celebrated by hitting the calories in style this weekend. Still, five days of discipline can make next Saturday another positive on the scales experience.

Back in control?

Turns out, after deciding to actually measure it, I'd been overestimating the calories I was getting from milk. By quite a margin. While it frees up some calories to budget to pies, beer and cake, it does now mean I might use them for pies, beer and cake, rather than just losing them as weight.

So a bit of a double-edged sword there.

Right, it's the end of the day on Friday, weigh in day tomorrow morning, let's see if we got the week back in control after gig day Tuesday...

Day 10

Breakfast
4x cups coffee (100 kcal.)
2x slices of ham (50 kcal.)

Lunch
5x double chocolate chip cookies (1100 kcal.)
Multivitamin

Dinner
Lentil soup (300 kcal.)
2x cups of tea (50 kcal.)

Exercise
50m walking

Day 11

Breakfast
4x cups coffee (100 kcal.)

Snack
1x muffin (300 kcal.)
1x almond croissant (350 kcal.)

Lunch
Crackers (200 kcal.)
Cheese (150 kcal.)
Multivitamin

Dinner
Lentil soup (300 kcal.)

Glass wine (150 kcal.)

Raisins (100 kcal.)

2x cups of tea (50 kcal).
Glass and a half of wine (200 kcal.)

Exercise

50m walking

Summary

What's that, about 3150 calories across two days? It's into the hands of fate now...

Damage limitation - mind over ghrelin

As you might have thought if you read yesterday's post, today is damage limitation day. If I wanted to salvage anything from this week, today had to be a special one.

It wasn't the complete fast I thought I might go for, but it wasn't too bad. Even if the dreaded evil that is the satsuma appeared again.

Today is a start, but it's going to take a string Thursday and Friday to back it up if I want to lose even an ounce or two when I get the Saturday morning result.

Let's raise a glass to willpower.

Day 9

No meals as such today, just a bit of grazing:
4x cups coffee (150 kcal.)
1x packet mini Cheddars (150 kcal.)
1x satsuma (50 kcal.)
4x cups tea (150 kcal.)

Exercise summary
Approx 45m walking

Summary
About 500 calories, although I had toyed with the idea of a complete fast today, it just didn't happen. If I can keep the text two days to below a total of 2500 or so, we might get away with it...

Don't worry, I won't be doing this every day

The plan is not to keep writing a full post every day. I'm not really sure I've got that much to say to be honest. Right now, at least up until proper weight-in two this Saturday, it merely serves as a motivation and a reminder to keep on it.

What I will try and do everyday though, is the basic food diary. In once way it's a just a handy way for me to record what I'm eating as the day goes on, but also, I want to be as transparent as possible.

What I write here is genuinely what I eat everyday and corresponds to the weight I'll put on or lose when I measure it each Saturday.

Breakfast
4x cups coffee with milk (150 kca.)
2x eggs (scrambled) with 2x slices ham (250 kcal.)

Lunch
4x oatcakes (200 kcal.)
4x thin slices (about 40 to 50g) mature cheddar (200 kcal.)

Dinner
Tesco sticky toffee pudding (400 kcal.)
Double cream (400 kcal.)

2nd dinner
Bowl of tomato soup
Plate of chips
4 pints bitter

3rd dinner

2 poached eggs and 1 slice of ham on brown bread (350 kcal.)

2 pints bitter

And some more crackers

And some more cheese

And a bacon sandwich

Exercise summary
2 lots 3x10 bicep curls
40m brisk walking

Summary
Gig night was always going to be a day where I let things slip a little bit. But I reckon I'm on about 5k calories today. Okay, so I was up before 5 and it's midnight now; and yes, I'll be up at 5.30 tomorrow; but I don't think that quite makes up for it somehow.

It's going to take a special kind of three days to get out of this...

Back to the new old routine

School started back today. Back to the old routine. In some ways, I'm glad: the last traces of the festive period are gone - apart from a few stray chocolate coins - so keeping to plan should be that much easier.

What to make of today? Bit of a hectic one at work. No time to get away from my desk for a walk - even to go and buy doughnuts - but did get 5 minutes to eat my soup this afternoon while on the phone.

I will say this though, and please forgive my pride,  but that's the best lentil soup I've made in a while. Really rather tasty.

Looking in the mirror at the end of the day today, the tummy bumps are coming back - so pleased with that - but I always go a peculiar shape when I start losing weight and get to around this point. The fat goes from over my abs first, way before it goes from the area below that, which just looks weird. I actually look like I've got more of a tummy than last week, simply because I now go in and out, rather than just remaining out.

Still, it's progress, and if I can rid myself of somewhere between half a pound and pound by the time we get to the next Saturday weigh in, I'll be happy with that.

For now though, I'll keep myself happy with the thought that my BMI is  about bang on 24, my waist measurement is comfortably under half my height, and I've still got a beer and another sticky toffee pudding to get home to tomorrow.

Day 7

Breakfast
3x cups coffee with milk (100 kcal.)
2x slices ham (50 kcal.)
Multivitamin

Lunch
10x shortbread fingers (1000 kcal.)

Snack

2x celery sticks (not even going to bother counting those)
1x chocolate coin (let's call that 100 kcal., just to be safe)

Dinner
Lentil soup (300 kcal.)

Exercise summary
3x set 15 dips
4x sets press ups (different hand positions each set)

Summary
Fairly happy with that, all being said. I make that about 1550 calories, so that covers yesterday sticky toffee overshoot. And that was always sort of the plan. Don't worry too much about the weekend, and try and have a good Monday so that those three days average out at about even, giving me 4 days out of the week to lose weight. Of course, gig with the band tomorrow, so that's usually a few beers to account for...

Why am I writing this - for shame

There are countless dieting blogs out there. There must be.  Not that I've ever really looked; nor have I attempted to count them, but it seems likely.

Assuming that that's true, what does the world need with another one?

Probably nothing, really.

So why am I writing this one?

Shame.

I think part of the reason that so many people seem to join slimming groups has nothing to do with the diet plan: losing weight is very, very straightforward, you just have to eat fewer calories than you burn and let the laws of thermodynamics do the rest.

That's it.

So why spend money on something you can do yourself for free? I would wager a big part if it is motivation driven by fear of public humiliation.

Who wants to be the one person at the weigh in who's put on a pound? I certainly wouldn't.

And that's why I'm writing this.

All it takes is one person. One single, solitary person out there in the world who's seen this blog and who wants me to succeed.

Or, even better, one who wants me to fail.

Just the thought of that gives me the motivation to try and stick to what I've set out to do. That, and a quote from Scrubs' Dr. Cox (forgive me if I've misquoted, but you'll get the idea): " The day you look in the mirror and are happy with what you see, you've lost the battle."

This isn't the place for discussions on body image; as the title of the blog suggests, I'm pragmatic.

I know I wasn't born with the facial bone structure of Ryan Reynolds; I'm unlikely to wake up tomorrow and be 6' 2 1/2" tall; I know the guys on the front of the men's health magazines spend hours in the gym and trim their diets before a shoot because it's their job, but a wee glance in the mirror doesn't hurt.

And sometimes, just sometimes, when the light reflects off the toilet just right and I'm dehydrated from last night's dinner of two bottles of Rioja, that stomach looks damn fine and I crack a smile and it feels great.

Then I just need to not drink anything and find a reason to keep my shirt off until my wife's sees me.

Day 6

Breakfast
4x cups coffee with milk (150 kcal.)
Bacon sandwich (250 kcal.)

Lunch
2x poached eggs on toast with 2x slices ham (350 kcal.)
Multivitamin

Dinner
Cheese, crackers, celery sticks, cherry tomatoes, 2x ham slices (650 kcal.)

2x 150 ml beers (400 kcal.)

Snacks
2 shortbread finger (200 kcal.)

Exercise summary
2 lots 3x 10 bicep curls
2x 25 squats
30m leisurely stroll
30m less leisurely stroll

Summary

On for a neat 2000 calories today, before exercise, nice end to the weekend and primed for next week. Happy with that.

UPDATE: It's Sunday night, it's a time for sitting on the sofa and indulging. Take that 2000 and add another beer and a small sticky toffee pudding with cream to that. Let's call it 2700.

Rounding up could mean an extra beer...

Well, today was the day of the first weigh in. I wasn't expecting a great result, especially considering the burger incident. However, I tipped the scales at a comfortable 11st, 13lb, 2oz. A loss of about 3 1/2 pounds.

I'll take that.

Now, obviously, it's not real. What I'm after is to lose fat. Given the guideline number that a pound of fat is about 3000 calories or so , to lose 3 pounds would mean that my net calories out would have had to have been 9000 less than my net calories in.

Today is Saturday, my starting day was Tuesday. I'm pretty sure that those numbers don't reflect what actually happened. So, while my diet didn't really expressly cut back on carbohydrate, the simple fact that I was eating less meant my carbohydrate intake was down.

While I hope there has been some fat burning going on, to have the scales report that sort of figure suggests that I lost a lot of glycogen and the water that goes with it. Still, I've got into a routine now, and have broken the constant eating and drinking cycle that I had going over the holidays, so that's progress.

Now, let's change tack slightly and talk about why I only eat in multiples of 50 calories. Well, of course, I don't.

I just round everything up to the nearest 50.

But why? Well, firstly, it makes the maths easier; secondly, you're perhaps protected against inaccurate nutritional value figures you found on the 'net; and thirdly, it means you've always got something in hand.

Take the calories for the beers below. Going on what I can find online, the actual number of calories contained in those three bottles is 500; I've made it 600. There are two things I can do with this fact. I can get to my daily calorie limit faster, stick to it, and lose a little more weight today. Or, I can add to that the fact that I've not accounted for my walks today and go to the pub.

Which to choose? Well, it's Saturday night, isn't it...

Shouldn't any diet let you eat what you want to? This is a dieting dinner I can get behind...

Day 5

Breakfast

3 cups coffee with milk (ca. 100 kcal.)
Multivitamin
2x poached eggs on toast (300 kcal.)

Snack
2x cups of tea (ca. 50 kcal.)
2x shortbread fingers (200 kcal.)
1x weetabix and milk (200 kcal.)

Lunch
Bacon sandwich (300 kcal.)

Dinner
Steak and ale pie (550 kcal.)
Boiled mixed vegetables (50 kcal.)
1x 500 ml Shipyard IPA (200 kcal.)
2x 500 ml Black Sheep Ale (400 kcal.)

Exercise summary
2x sets 25 press ups
3x sets 15 dips
45m brisk stroll pushing buggy with toddler that didn't sleep for nearly long enough in it.

Summary
2350 calories today without considering the exercise. On plan I think. If I can keep to under 2000 calories a day during the week, and under 2500 at the weekend, that works for me. Especially by the time I've rounded up the numbers. Obviously, there will be the unexpected burger days, or the band gigging days that up the beer intake, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. It's all about the trend.

It's Friday and I fancy a beer

Well, made it to Friday night unscathed; the eve of the first proper weigh in.

Today's been a respectable day, about 1600 calories, but with a bit of an extra stroll, so I've probably walked for over an hour today. Should help to cancel out some of that indulgent breakfast I had today.

Back to the coffee only breakfast tomorrow I think.

You may also noticed I've changed my lunch from 5 doughnuts to 5 double chocolate cookies. Not only is the calorie count slightly lower, but the glycaemic load is lower as well. They are also quite sickly, which does put you off eating for a bit longer as well... Double chocolate for the triple win!

It's 9 pm, I've got the kids to sleep, put the Christmas tree back up in the attic and changed the bed. I think that justifies the pint I've fancied all day. I'll enjoy it with little regard or concern for how that changes the readout on the device of foreboding tomorrow.

Things should be alright. Thinking about the weight from yesterday, it's difficult to see there being much less than that. There's no weight I lost more than a pound in fat in a couple of days. Not with how much I've eaten against how much I've exercised.

Not a chance.

So, even though I've had a diet that's been fairly rich in carbohydrate, it's likely that nearly all of that weight loss was in glycogen and the associated water weight. Next week, it gets harder...

Day 4

Breakfast
3x cups coffee with milk (ca. 100 kcal.)
2x eggs, scrambled (ca. 200 kcal.)

Lunch
5x double chocolate cookies (1100 kcal.)

Dinner
Lentil soup (200 kcal.)

Exercise summary
3 lots 3x 10 bicep curls
2x 25 squats
Approx 70m brisk walking

Summary

I think today's been not too bad I suppose. After a good day yesterday it would have been easy to rest on my laurels and be a bit less focussed today, but I think I've about got away with it. Of course, it depends if that one pint stays as just that one pint...

I may soon be dead: I ate fruit

While this may only be my third post, I fear it may be my last. I've done something very bad: I've eaten a satsuma.

Today's satsuma, combined with the satsuma I ate yesterday, means my days are surely numbered. Maybe my pancreas will inflate like a balloon connected to whatever it is politicians talk from; perhaps my kidneys will liquefy, flow against the pull of gravity and fall out of my eyes. Either way, a nutritionist has said I've done a bad thing.

You see, I read an article on the BBC website about this thing: 'veganuary'. There was a quote from a 'nutrition therapist', so I clicked on the link and found myself on her website. On the 'about' page, I found this piece of sage advice: "If what you are about to eat...is also known to cause you harm (eg sugar, additives, pesticides) then dont [sic] put it in your mouth".

Oh dear. Those satsumas are going to come back to haunt me. Those two sweet little orange bags of sugar. Maybe I'll be okay. They're just satsumas. They're only small. Perhaps I'll survive. I suppose it could have been worse.

If it had been a pomegranate I might not be here now.

On another note, I did today what I wasn't going to to until Saturday: I weighed myself. Far too soon for any sort of conclusion to be drawn, I know, but my wife had got on the scales and said she'd lost weight, so I thought I'd do the same.

Just for giggles.

Anyway, 12st 1lb 6oz. I'll take that. Particularly given the less than perfect start I had. However, from now on, it's Saturday mornings only, and I might even draw a graph.

Day 3

Breakfast
Two cups coffee with milk (ca. 50 kcal.)

Lunch
Five jam doughnuts (1150 kcal.)

Snack
Satsuma (50 kcal.)

Dinner
Lentil soup (200 kcal.)
Multivitamin

Exercise summary
3x 25 press ups
3x 15 dips
Approx 30min walking

Summary

Not a bad day, really. That's about 1450 calories before any of the walking comes off. I was very close to rewarding myself with a trip to the pub. But it's baltic outside.

The day in which I find the Christmas stocking

Day two, and I was fairly confident it would be better than yesterday, mostly due to the fact there wouldn't be a burger covered in blue cheese at the end of it that I hadn't anticipated.

There was, however, an unplanned piece of work cake with a work coffee during an afternoon meeting, but I sacrificed the Mini Cheddars I had planned to eat for that.

And it really was only a small bit of cake.

Nevertheless, today needed to come in safely under 2000 calories; I mean, I can't start writing all this stuff and making it public just to fail now, can I?

What would be the point of that?

Of course, I'm still coming off the back of a fortnight of excess, indulgence and leftovers. And I don't like waste.

Today's leftovers started well, with the making of a lentil soup, that took care of some spare carrots and potatoes from the roast. The day remained strong with the satsuma from my Christmas stocking. 

Then it was the chocolate coins.

So far, have stopped at two.

Day 2

Breakfast
Five cups coffee with milk (ca. 150 kcal.)

Lunch
Five jam doughnuts (1150 kcal.)

Snack
Morsel of cake (ca. 200 kcal.)

Satsuma )50 kcal.)

Dinner
Lentil soup (200 kcal.)
Bacon sandwich (250 kcal.)
Multivitamin

Two chocolate coins (ca. 100 kcal)

Exercise summary

3 lots of 3 sets of 10 bicep curls
Approximately 20 minutes' brisk strolling.

Summary

So, I think that comes to 2100, not quite was I was going for, but, like I said, I'm still getting over my gluttony, so I'll take it.

It almost makes up for yesterday...

Not the first day I had imagined...

Tuesday the 3rd January. My first day back at work after the festive period, and the first day of the attempt to lose the holiday pounds.

Of which there were quite a few.

We'll get back to me later, I'm sure, but in the manner of a Tarantino storyboard, let's just start off here:

Out of bed, 6.40 am; bathroom; empty bladder, first weigh in.

Weight₀ if you will.

12 stone, 2 pounds, 8 ounces.

Compared to where I was in the middle of August (I was distracted so my memory is a bit hazy: can't be more specific), about 8 pounds up; and not quite with the laterals on which one could grate a mature applewood-smoked cheddar on as was the case last summer either.

Game on.

Here's one quick thing though - let's establish a bit of a context -  I have two kids I need to get to school and nursery in the morning, I'm mostly desk-bound, not a member of a gym, don't really get a chance for a lunch break, and usually get home between 7, quarter past or so, ready for a couple of loads of dishes, put the kids to bed, and possibly squeeze in an episode of Star Trek Voyager if my eyes haven't started stinging yet.

Oh, and I begrudge spending a lot of money on food that is fundamentally empty bags of sugar that I don't enjoy; i.e.: fruit.

However, I was an assistant professor of biology (it wasn't my major, but I can still remember a bit of my nutritional biochemistry), I can still read a scientific paper, I'm reasonably confident in the human body's ability to operate relatively happily within a wide range of parameters (it seems to do well enough, right?), I'm fed up of lots of people on the internet calling themselves 'nutritionists' and talking a lot of nonsense, and I'm a firm believer in the first law of thermodynamics.

On these fundamentals, the pragmatic diet was born.

Day 1

Breakfast 6.45 am - 8.00 am
Four mugs instant coffee with milk (ca. 100 kcal.)
One multivitamin

Lunch 11.15 am
Five jam doughnuts (1150 kcal.)

Snack 2.45 pm
Chicken and bacon sandwich (ca. 400 kcal,)

And that's where it started to go wrong, as a last -minute work meeting was scheduled that was due to last into the evening. The best laid plans an' all...

Dinner 7.30 pm
Bacon and blue cheese burger and 2 pints of dark lager (lots kcal.)
Oh, and some onion rings.

Exercise summary
Three x sets 25 press ups in the morning (one set elevated feet, one set wide arm, one set regular)
Approx 25m brisk walking

Summary
Not sure really, maybe a bit over 3000 calories? Still, there's always tomorrow...